Ray last wrote:

"I would rather be ashes than dust!

I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dryout.

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, then a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I shall use my time."

Yesterday my 2-year-old granddaughter Maddie found an old book, Key to Yourself with this in it:

Salutation to the Dawn

"Look to this day, for it is Life,

The very Life of Life.

Within its brief span, lies all the Verities,

And realities of your existence.

The Bliss of Growth.

The Glory of Action.

The Splendor of Beauty.

For yesterday is but a Dream

And tomorrow is but a Vision

But today well lived makes every

Yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of Hope.

Look well therefore to this day.

-The Sanskrit

Five Years

It's been five years since your passing. It can't hardly be called an anniversary as there is nothing to celebrate. On the good days, I remember our last conversations regarding Maslow's hiearchy of needs, the movie American Beauty and living life with a purpose. On the bad days, I don't even want to crawl out of bed. It just doesn't seem fair or just. A beautiful person with so much to offer this world and you're taken while others, lost in soul and character, remain contributing nothing but leaving grief wherever they go. It just doesn't seem fair and no amount of time is going to change that. Your friends still call and let us know they are still thinking of you. That helps and reinforces who you were as a person, my beloved son and the resident artist in the hereafter. It helps to have the sacholarships and knowing that others will carry on where you left off.

grads awarded

This year Enterprise High School awarded Brandi and San Jose State University awarded Kat Raymond's scholarships. Both are gifted artists in their own right and know the importance of giving back to their communities. I wasn't able to make it to either presentations, but hope to next year.

The little mountain community I live in is trying to raise money to establish a radio station where we live because we are in an area that receives little to no radio or television reception. We've had different fundraisers so I've donated quite a few dangles toward the cause, and they have been warmly received, but as in other areas, I've been playing around with different things because people repeatedly try to wear the dangles as necklaces! It all goes toward a helping out whether it is a person or a community.

Exciting news! A good friend is organizing a cultural exchange between our extended community and Cuba and I'm going. I will have my dangles in a foreign country! Oh wait, there's already some in Canada -- but not in a Latin country! Yahoo!

Trying something new

I thought I'd try something new. These necklaces sit at the base of the throat and that is where the emphasis of the design. I came across some vintage seed beads and will incorporate those with the new to create elegant but simple designs.

Raymond would have turned 30 years old today -- a milestone that should have been. I couldn't help wonder what good the world was cheated out of by his early death. I can't help but wonder what difference he would have made in the lives of the African people he would have encountered while a Peace Corps ambassador. Happy birthday to my beautiful son.

We're awesome and San Jose State has recognized that awesomeness. I received a letter the other day tellling me that I'm an ambassador to the Tower Society as a result of the donations we've made. I was given a lapel pin with the Tower emblem, which I shall wear proudly.

On another note, my husband and I took our tax info to our accountant and as he looked over the information he was startled to see the contributions to the Tower Foundation/Society. He was quite happy knowing that I was making contributions to his alma mater. I invited him to join me.

We had to make a trip to Larry's hometown of Dresden, OH, recently and while there a childhood friend of his tracked him down. His friend has a son with Williams Syndrom, and despite his age in the mid-30s he hasn't progressed physically or mentally much past that of an adolescent. Sports and firefighters are his passions. He was thrilled to tears when Larry gave him his own firefighter dangle that hung from our rearview mirror. While driving through Illinois, we stopped to gas when a young man began a conversation with Larry about firefighting. He was a firefighter from Oklahoma and as they swapped stories, Larry remembered he had a spare firefighter dangle in his coat pocket and retrieved it for his new friend. The young man was truly happy to receive it knowing he would be the only one in Oklahoma to have a dangle!

Update: Good News

Time for an update! Twenty-eight firefighting dangles with the number 39 attached were given to the graduating class of the 39th Shasta College Fire I academy this month. All loved their dangles and were grateful to receive them as "good luck" charms, as my husband calls them.

I've had more requests for custom dangles, which is awesome because it forces me to use whatever creativity I have to come up with dangles to suit the request. To date I've made dangles for a belly dancer, a Hawaii lover, an Elvis fan, a medical first responder (not a firefighter) and a dangling modifier!

I received in the mail the San Jose State University Tower Foundation Annual Report and in it on Page 36 as a Tower Society Loyal and Committed Annual Giving of $1,000 and above is our name --- well, my name, but we all did it and deserve credit for it. Last week I received an invitation to the "2009 Spartans in the Desert" fundraiser for San Jose State. It's a golf weekend at Desert Willow Golf Resort in Palm Desert, CA, and while I'd loved to go and tell them I work in my private sweat shop making dangles for a scholarship, I don't think my Levis would meet the dress code! If any of you would like to go and can afford to attend the reception/dinner and golf tournament, I'm more than happy to send you in my place so you can hob-nob with the elites of the scholarship world.

Thank you all for helping us get this far!

Firefighting dangles

The flags in California returned to full staff today as the nine firefighters died in a fiery helicopter crash in the north state were laid to rest. These firefighters were mainly from Oregon and had been fighting fires in Trinity County. We all felt the loss, and hold their families in our thoughts as they struggle to put the pieces of their lives back together.

In Shasta County, my husband Larry spent 17 days fighting fires and as he came upon firefighters from Oregon, Washington, South Dakota, Nevada, Idaho, and Arizona he gave them a firefighter dangle for good luck. He'd pull the dangles out of the pocket of his turnouts, determined to give them to as many out of state firefighters as possible. These dangles are made with little fire truck and fire hydrant buttons. When he happened upon one firefighter from Oregon he'd given a dangle to, the man told him that every morning his strike team (a crew of firefighters) took turns going into his truck and touching the dangle for good luck. Fortunately, these firefighters made it home safe.